You’re Queer. You’re Sex-Positive. So Why Does Sex Still Feel Off?
In many queer spaces, we celebrate freedom, exploration, kink, and desire. And that’s beautiful. But sometimes, the same culture that liberates us can leave us feeling like failures when our bodies don’t match the script.
If you’re not turned on in a flash.
If you’re not into the “right” things.
If sex feels distant, mechanical, overwhelming - or just… not working.
You might wonder: What’s wrong with me?
The answer? Nothing.
Maybe You’re Not the Only Queer Person Who…
I can’t tell you how many queer folks have pulled me aside - or booked a consult - and asked in a low voice:
“Is something wrong with me?”
Because they…
Don’t get turned on in a second by someone new.
Don’t want sex as much as they think they’re “supposed to.”
Don’t feel the chemistry they used to.
Or feel totally disconnected in a world that celebrates constant-immediate desire.
And every time, I say the same thing:
You’re not broken. The script is.
We live in a culture - especially in queer spaces - that can be incredibly sex-positive.
Which is beautiful… until it becomes a kind of pressure.
Pressure to always be turned on. Always be open. Always want it.
But your body doesn’t care about the script.
It cares about safety, authenticity, connection - and your unique wiring.
Your body is not lying.
You’re not alone.
And your sex life doesn’t have to look like anyone else’s.
Why It Happens
Queer folks are often told to embrace desire - but rarely given space to talk about disconnection.
Whether you’re recovering from shame, trauma, religious upbringing, heteronormativity, or just the pressures of performing “liberated” sex - you’re not alone.
Sometimes desire doesn’t come easily because your nervous system is protecting you. Other times, it’s because the version of sex that’s celebrated around you doesn’t actually reflect what you want - or who you are - in this moment.
Desire needs more than permission. It needs safety.
And authenticity.
And a sense of you in it.
How I Help You Fix It
We’ll slow things down. Get curious. And finally listen to what your body’s trying to say.
Together, we’ll figure out what’s in the way of arousal or connection - whether it’s cultural pressure, performance anxiety, dysphoria, relational patterns, or just a lifetime of overriding your own signals.
We’ll help you reclaim your version of sex - not the one you think you’re supposed to have.
That might mean learning to connect with yourself again. Or rebuilding trust with your partner(s). Or just getting real about what actually turns you on.
It’s not about doing more. It’s about becoming more honest - and more free.
Next Steps
We’ll start with a free 15-minute consultation call - or some emails - so you can get a feel for what it’s like to work with me - and see if I’m the right fit for you.
If it feels like a good match, we’ll meet over Zoom in a confidential, supportive space. You don’t need to come in with the perfect words. I’ll guide you step by step as we slow things down and begin practicing tools that calm your system and help you understand what’s really been driving this pattern.
Most people feel relief after the first session and a sense of clarity about why it’s been happening.